I’ve been shoegazing for a couple of decades now and as time goes on and as time gets scarce I have to admit that, ethereal vocals are cool and all, but I like my shoegaze with more seasoning. I like a bit of metal (scream for me), a bit of grunge (dirty, crunchy riffs like velcro on my eardrums) and a bit of doom (bass so heavy the bones in my skull vibrate).
So by all accounts I should LOVE Deafheaven. I’ve been listening to Alcest since Souvenirs d’un Autre Monde released in 2007 and every album, every concert since then has been a transcendental experience. APTBS’s Exploding Head is my spirit album, while ‘ To Fix the Gash in Your Head’ was my lifé’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’. Jesu’s ‘Friends are Evil’ pumps me up like nothing else on my way to work. And of course, I could write (and have written) tomes about Whirr and Nothing, whose Venn diagram with Deafheaven sees Nick Bassett at the centre. *
And yet…
Let’s start at the end.
Deafheaven released Infinite Granite in 2021. At this point I am well aware that Sunbather is a monument of an album not to be disrespected… but I can’t get into it. I’ve tried, and I have never felt the tiniest flutter in my heart when listening to it. I hide this shameful fact from my peers, but I discover that I do like Infinite Granite and in that moment, there is hope.
Infinite Granite doesn’t rock my world, but the blasé vocals remind me of Hum, and the metal influence seems mostly limited to the percussion and the odd scream here and there, as if engineered for shoegaze purists. My only turn off is exactly that – it is strangely accessible, and I wonder if there’s a catch.
I work backwards. I recall listening to Ordinary Corrupt Human Love a while (months? years?) ago, without any strong reactions either way. I go back to sample the album again and, since my taste has matured with time, I can almost enjoy it. I mentioned that I like metal as seasoning, and that’s what I get. The melody at the fore, the growls as decor. I follow the lyrics. I find them strangely poetic. I listen to the album a few times, over the course of a couple of weeks. It never hits me, but I grow to appreciate it, listening only to admire its structure, but never for emotional or spiritual release.
I decide I’m ready to give Sunbather another go.
At this point, there are albums that I actively like that I have listened to less often than Sunbather, but I cannot bring myself to accept that this album speaks a language I don’t understand… yet am fluent in. I have to break the code.
I need help. I turn to the album’s frighteningly detailed wikipedia page for more context. I scroll past all the lists, ratings and reviews – best albums of 2013, best albums of the 2010s, best albums of the millennium, 9.5, 9.2, 9.7, 100, masterful, poetic, groundbreaking… (all knives to my heart, they make question my ears… am I deaf?). I stop at the section on the recording process.
I figure out that I have to look at the album as a series of songs and interludes. There are four songs, and there are three interludes. They are all meant to complete each other and the whole album is meant to be listened to in one sitting. That’s cool, I’m an album person so that’s exactly what I’ve been doing all along.
I am well aware that wikipedia should not be my sole source of information and perspective, so I decide to scout around a little bit more. I also want to hear the voice of the people, not just the critics. Over on last.fm, it’s once again adoring comment after adoring comment on their shoutbox: ‘masterpiece’, ‘soul-crushingly beautiful’, ‘greatest album ever’ nya-nya-nya, but wait, what’s this:
Mfs on metallum coping hard
Hold up, there is a section of the population out there that does NOT love, admire and adore Sunbather? Maybe these are my people!
I head over to Encyclopedia Metallum. Sure enough, Sunbather’s page has a series of terrible scores ranging from 0 to 15% left by amateur reviewers (the latest as recent as October 2024). This seems a bit extreme, but hey it could just be human tendency to exaggerate. I go to check out the reviews.
These are not my people.
The metal community is pretty weird. It’s the one audience that seems to ALSO not understand Sunbather… but for exactly the opposite reasons? The album is “as if emos and edgy hipsters got ahold of black metal”, “looks like (they) could have a 25 minute long artisanal coffee brewing process every morning while listening to the New York Times podcast” and my favourite : “where the fuck are the lyrics? Where’s the vocalist? Is he in the other room half the time when he’s singing?” – lol.
The reviews are a fun read and a lot more revealing than the professional critics’ scores. There are a fair few 80-100%s thrown in as well, and reading them all makes me realise that I’ve been missing a crucial ingredient all this time – context.
So, since I spend 80% of my waking hours listening to music doused in reverb, I probably don’t have any memory of what non-shoegaze music sounds like anymore. Walls of sound and distortion are my default, so I don’t even register them as an artistic choice. But that’s probably not the case for black metal where (I imagine) vocals and instrumentation are more distinct and more aggressive. I might find this album aggressive enough as is, but I’m a pixie from dreampopland, what do I know?
But out in the real world, along comes Deafheaven – they take the dreamy instrumentation we all know and love, layer black metal vocals over it, and voilà – groundbreaking. You’ve just got yourself every album of the year/decade accolade there is to get.
That’s my theory anyway.
It’s time to try again. I turn off the main speakers and connect my headphones, I buy the remastered version on Bandcamp and download the WAVs. I am nothing if not determined.
I listen to the album in its entirety, as instructed. I focus – I have to because I still struggle to feel anything. I have done my research, I have all the context I could possibly need, and finally I have to admit… there’s still nothing.
I get very close to loving the title track for its break around one minute in. But I don’t love the growls. The song’s structure reminds me of ‘Ecailles de Lune II’, one of my favourites by Alcest – which has a similarly delicate melody, that lifts and falls. This may be where it becomes obvious that I’m a shoegazer and not a metalhead because, unlike Neige, I find Clarke’s screams to not be as concordant with the melody as I would like. I also find ‘Ecailles’ to be much more complex and diverse as a track – there are highs and lows, louds and softs, screams and murmurs, and layers of detail. ‘Sunbather’ the track and Sunbather the album seem to race ahead without much room to breathe. You don’t have the time absorb what you hear, and you don’t necessarily want to go back and lose yourself in the details of the composition. I imagine that’s what the interludes are for, but they do exactly what they say on the tin – they’re more song separators than song extensions. It makes sense considering they were recorded apart from the four main tracks (thanks wikipedia), so there isn’t really an apparent ‘flow’ . You can ignore any reviews saying otherwise – they were never imagined to flow, and they don’t flow.
I do like the interludes though. I dig ‘Windows’ – the field recording of the preacher reminds me of Have a Nice Life’s ‘Destinos’, one of the tracks that changed my life. ‘Please Remember’ is cool too though it’s Neige speaking and why would I listen to that when I could listen to Neige singing? It’s spooky, crunchy and ethereal so I do like that about it. ‘Irresistible’ is fine, I guess. There isn’t anything about it that stands out. It sounds very much like it’s been recorded on a different day and it’s not a track I would ever actively seek out.
In the end, I have to accept Sunbather is not for me. I find myself agreeing with some of the metallum reviews accusing Deafheaven of doing something that has/had already been done. My favourite parts of the albums are the bits that remind me of other artists, but I like the other artists more, so…
I’m disappointed. I really wanted to love this album, but I find it too one-dimensional and piecemeal. I’ve seen Deafheaven being compared to Alcest and I cannot disagree more. It’s the kind of comparison that makes me think of reviews that reference MBV and Slowdive as influences whenever they talk about a shoegaze band, because they’re the only references they have. Maybe Amesoeurs is a better example of a peer, but I’m not qualified to comment on that.
At the end of my study, I’m left with the same question I had when I began: who is this album for, and what are they hearing that I’m not? I’m open to attending listening parties with footnotes and commentary, but until then I guess I’ll just stop pretending to be hardcore, own my roots, and go listen to Infinite Granite.
*Also, their name is an homage to Slowdive, they’ve toured with Russian Circles, and Neige is on ‘Please Remember’. It’s almost TOO perfect.